I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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