I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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