If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
