the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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