i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
