And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
