dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
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I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
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I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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