Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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