I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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