haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
should my penis look like a turkey
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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