i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
it's great music for shaving your balls
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
