My hair reeks of homosexuality.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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