Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
