Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I party with great urgency now.
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