Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
