so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
