dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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