guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
