giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
