paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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