Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
