oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
