Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
