Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
