Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
