i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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