I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
