bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
