Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
