READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
