I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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