Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
