You work out of a Hotel?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
