Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
