Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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