Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
