Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
i need some magic done to my vagina
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
