just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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