I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize