I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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