I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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