at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
