Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
