There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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