Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
