Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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