I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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