I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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