There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
