Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Pooping to opera.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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