Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
