HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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