well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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