Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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