It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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