I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
