sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
