i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
